Midwestern Liberal

Elected To Be Responsible

2009-07-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

Whether my fellow Democrats like it or not, the bottom line remains that President Obama and the Democratic majorities that were elected to Congress won their positions due to the fact that the Bush Administration demonstrated their incompetency during events such as the Iraq War, Hurricane Katrina, and their "War On Terror."

The American people gave Democrats a mandate, not for change, but for competency. Before Democrats can roll out massive changes and expect the American people to buy what it is we're selling, Democrats must demonstrate that they are responsible and will respond to challenges in the economy and foreign policy in that manner.

Until President Obama is able to find a way to disengage from Iraq, deter Iran from becoming a nuclear power, and restore the economic gains of the Clinton era, no one is going to buy any large-scale Democratic plan, be it Carbon Cap And Trade or Health Care.

The problem that most politicians do not see is that partisans, be it Democrat or Republican, do not represent where the American people really are politically, which is in the center. This is evident by looking at how many Americans split tickets, actually vote, and donate to campaigns.

In order to demonstrate to the center that they need to come to the left, Democrats need to demonstrate competency in lieu of catering to all of its activist wings. Only when this competency is demonstrated, can the activist wings of the party start to incrementally make gains that will be easier to maintain and expand. If the Obama Administration doesn't realize this soon, it risks becoming a repeat of the malaise of the Carter Administration.

Michael Jackson

2009-07-23T15:10:00.000-07:00

While the nation mourns the loss of Michael Jackson with such fervor as to minimize the world around us, the tragedy that his family faces parallels that which the nation faces.

For well over a decade, Jackson withdrew from music and into the occult of bizarre, be it inviting young boys over for slumber parties or keeping a chimp named "Bubbles" as a confidant.

Perhaps, death cleanses the memory of the negative and channels the brain to think of only the positive. As Dean Acheson noted on Senator Joseph McCarthy's death, "Of the dead, nothing but good."

Like the immediate memories following the death of Senator McCarthy, Jackson's ills have been erased from public discussion, almost as if one were reading a history textbook from Stalin's Soviet Union, where those purged are airbrushed out of the photograph.

The media will descend on Los Angeles, hundreds of thousands of mourners will line the streets, and scalpers will get $10,00 on eBay for a ticket to the Memorial Service. Meanwhile, the deaths of seven Marines in Afghanistan will be relegated to the back pages of the paper, next to the Victoria's Secret ads.

For what it's worth, Michael Jackson didn't create this pandemonium. This nation did by misplacing its priorities. Instead of appealing to the better angels of our nature, as John Kennedy did by establishing the Peace Corps, we're lost in the search of riches, only to find fool's gold at the end of the rainbow.

This writer can only hope that Michael Jackson may rest in peace, while, simultaneously keeping his fingers crossed that this country will come to its senses and realize what a real hero is.

Health Care

2009-07-23T15:09:00.000-07:00

Health care remains a precarious subject for politicians to touch, almost as much a third rail as Social Security, and while President Obama's plan is noble in its goals, it misses the mark in terms of its practicality.

The major downfall with the health care system is costs. For the federal government to take on the responsibility of health care without finding a manner to curtail the future costs endangers this nation by creating a social safety net at the expense of spiraling federal deficits, which has the potential to both endanger access to health care and/or cause a drastic increase in inflation, which lowers the standard of living.

There remains no easy remedy to this problem, and since this bill does not even touch the issue of cost, this writer would prefer the Obama Administration to control what it can control: the budget deficit.

By balancing the budget and creating surpluses to pay down the deficit, investors will be buoyed by such a development and reinvest much more into capital ventures in lieu of stable securities. This influx of capital would, in the long-run, create greater wealth, thereby allowing Americans to have more disposable income, and for those without health care, increased income could permit them to buy such a policy.

For those who do not believe that balanced budgets can create extraordinary wealth, check the Eisenhower or Clinton years. While it remains repugnant that so many Americans do not have health care, it remains equally repugnant for government to proclaim a fix that will only exacerbate federal deficits by ignoring the fundamental problem of the health care system.

However, if our elected officials do believe that this plan is so great for everyone, perhaps the voters should insist on the elimination of the Congressional Health Care plan and require every member of Congress be placed on the government created plan. Then, everyone will see how great this plan really is.

Sudan

2007-06-06T15:41:00.000-07:00

Upon learning that the United States had not ratified the Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide, Senator William Proxmire stood up on the floor of the United States Senate in 1967, pledging to give a speech a day until it was ratified. After 3,211 speeches, the Convention was ratified in 1986.

With prodding from Senator Proxmire, it took the United States Senate about 35 years to outlaw genocide in the world and agree to stop it wherever it may occur. While President Bush has not properly responded to the genocide in Darfur, he is hardly the only guilty party, as President Clinton acted slowly in Bosnia and failed to act in Rwanda.

While one must understand the need to restrain American power in order to prevent the rest of the world from fearing American power, America has no real interests in the Sudan, short of searching an area Bin Ladin once called home. However, there is in interest that is greater than national interest; that interest is moral interest.

The intent of the Genocide Convention was not for international powers to wait until the number of victims of a genocide reached the point of the Holocaust. The intent was to stop genocide in its infancy.

While America's military may be on the brink of being drained due to the Iraqi misadventure, America must assume the moral lead in building a coalition that will stop the genocide in Darfur, even if it means American logistical assistance.

If America continues to permit genocide to occur right in its face, there remains no plausible explanation as to how America can be so moral in the eyes of the rest of the world, for it is the moral duty of everyone to bring their power to bear to halt a genocide in progress.

Hopefully, our leaders will act without the prodding of 3,211 speeches and twenty years. Otherwise, there will no longer be a genocide in Darfur, for the perpetrators will have completed their dastardly deed.

Rock On Comments!

2007-06-05T19:26:00.000-07:00

While many in the blogosphere kick back and get comments posted on their blog, yours truly got his first comment that did not include the phrase, "For Cheap Viagra," and I would love to compliment the poster for intelligence, which is rare in this country. For proof, count how many times you receive inexact change in a day, and I'm willing to bet it's about 20% of the time.

So, I decided to take the American stupidity test to a new level, as the comment poster noted the scariness and parallels between today and ancient Rome, which, ironically, is more than a sports talk show on ESPN. I went down to the Library of Congress and picked up a couple of American History textbooks that are used in public high schools and read them, just for shits and giggles. Here's some of the not-so-astonishing things I found:

1. One textbook merely mentioned the years of the Korean War and that was it.
2. World War II.....not much mentioned there either.
3. Vietnam......forget it.
4. The Eighties......a skim.
5. Spanish American War/World War I, don't go there.

Of course, after reading these, I realized that my high school, which, shall remain anonymous, did not offer an AP History course. Then again, (TRUE STORY, NOT A JOKE, I'M BEING SERIOUS HERE, YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE IT), I was in the honors class and had to contain laughter when one girl asked, what's the difference between Islam and Muslim. After nearly bursting out laughing and with a face so red that one would think I just got laid for the first time, the teacher asked an honors class----because there was no AP class----how many people did not know. Three-fourths raised their hands.

So, here's what I propose to ensure that an educated populace will not continue to elect morons like Bush just "cause I can relate to him." Go to your local school board meeting and ensure that every high school has an AP course for all high school subjects. After all, I want my President to be smarter than 95% of the general population, although, I'll settle for a President that's smarter than a chimp.

Cede Our National Power

2007-06-02T08:44:00.000-07:00

Whether we, as Americans, want to admit it or not, our nation's role on the international stage has been transformed not by 9/11, but by the end of the Cold War, as American power is no longer restrained by Cold War rules.

Now American forces partake in the preemptive attacks on other international states, such as Iraq, which, in turn, makes the Bush Doctrine tantamount to the Brezhnev Doctrine. In the interim everyone forgets Bobby Kennedy's quote about preemptive war, "I know now how Admiral Yamamoto must have felt."

Given the action of our nation's leadership over the past several years, many international states will now try to ally to balance American power rather than permit a modern day, unrestrained Gulliver to stomp on them.

Taking into account the position of a bully-based foreign policy, a weak dollar, an overextended military, and a broke educational system, the inevitable result, should our nation continue on this course, will be the loss of superpower status in any long-term analysis.

However, the future is never totally inevitable. If we, as Americans, are willing to cede some international power, such as granting the United Nations and NATO equal status and ratifying membership in the International Criminal Court and Kyoto Protocol, the rest of the world will not have the same fear of unrestrained American power.

Should America fail in this endeavor, the rest of the world shall remember the famous Machiavelli quote, "Absolute power corrupts absolutely." This essentially means that our nation will drain its treasury and its young in order to pursue individual terrorists, which, in any long-term analysis, will probably ensure that our international standing and individual liberties shall be sacrificed, as though everyone were the Lilliputians.

Letters From A Nut

2007-05-27T15:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the title of this blog has been recycled from a crappy humor book; I'll concede that. However, as many of you may know, I send about a letter in every week to my hometown newspaper, who, in their infinite wisdom, usually print them out, laugh at them, and then decide to either use the paper to train their six-week old puppy or write down the motel number where their mistress is staying.

So, here's the latest, unpublished letter, that I wrote to the Courier & Press. If it was worthy of printing, please feel free to email that newspaper at letters@courierpress.com and tell them, "In every city, there's a fool to pity, and you're Evansville's fool." Sorry, I'm a Mr. T fan.

If it sucks, please feel free to post on this blog, "Worst writing ever." At least, the image of Comic Book Man will take the negative sting of seeing a negative comment posted. Here's the letter:

To The Editor:

For the past couple of weeks, the opinion pages of the Courier & Press appear to be moving so far to the right of the ideological spectrum that one must ponder whether or not Genghis Khan has been appointed to the editorial review board.

In the wake of the Virginia Tech shootings, the Courier & Press chose to continually print letters that insisted that the answer to school violence was to arm students and faculty, as though the person screening the letters had a fetish for the film Red Dawn. Yet, no one in this community asked why someone the state tried to commit for being kookoo for Cocoa Puffs had access to firearms in the first place.

Now, the Courier & Press prints letters that insists that the entire argument against the Iraq war is tantamount to shouting, "liar, liar, pants on fire," at President Bush. Yet, here's the Administration's top ten cliches:

10. Oil will pay for reconstruction.
9. We will be greeted as liberators.
7. Mission Accomplished.
6. Insurgency in its last throes.
5. Weapons of Mass Destruction.
4. Fight them there so we don't have to fight them here.
3. So democracy will spread throughout the Middle East.
2. Bring Them On.
1. Valerie Plame.

My mother always told me that one should always tell the truth, and the truth when evaluating this list is that this Administration walks like a duck and talks like a duck. So, in this case, that makes President Bush either a liar, an idiot, or a combination of the two.

While it shall be easy to criticize someone for saying this about their President, feel free to search the Courier & Press at your public library for the letter written by yours truly describing the need for containment in Iraq, as an invasion would unnecessarily tie down our forces, which may be more urgently needed in Iran or North Korea. Then, take bets on who has a higher IQ.

Don't forget to voice your opinion. It's like American Idol without the $300 phone bill.

All I Want For Christmas

2006-12-20T08:39:00.000-08:00

With the Holiday season well underway, Americans will get doused with tons of college football, more weight loss plans that Rosie O'Donnel has made apologies, and tons of gifts under the Christmas tree.

Of course, once one is done wading through the pounds of torn wrapping paper, the same old problems will be there, predominately our culture of losing. That's right, we, as Americans are losers.

It maybe easy for most to dismiss this claim, but just look at the college football you'll be watching over the holidays. Oregon, Arizona State, Florida State, Alabama, South Carolina, Minnesota, Iowa, and Miami all have losing Conference records, and you're going to be watching them on television over the holidays.

Then, of course, comes the time for the New Year's resolution. Someone in your family will get the gym membership, the Richard Simmons tapes, and a box of Slim Fast, but come January 2, the gym's a novelty, Richard Simmons will be too gay to dance to, and the Slim Fast will develop a chalky taste.

With the holidays having past, we, as Americans can get back to doing what we do best----sending NBA players to the Olympics only to be beaten by Brazil. Of course, they've already beaten us to the race for energy independence, so why not add basketball.

That's not the only thing we'll be losing at. Iraq's going to contiune going south of the border, which, of course, brings everyone to Taco Bell. When our country's fast food establishments makes Jonestown look like a Boy Scout Jamboree, we're in trouble. Then, again, not even the Boy Scouts could hold a jamboree without the theme music from Platoon.

Naturally, our answer to this problem is find blame, which, we, as Americans do by blindfolding ourselves and swinging baseball bats at pinattas, and of course, we wildly miss. We miss because the problem is not other people; the problem is ourselves.

That's right, look in the mirror. We care more about the Lewinsky dress than the Social Security problem and re-elect the same retards despite the fact everyone knows they're are retard. For proof, please see the re-election of President Bush.

So, please, do not get me anything tangible for Christmas. I'd rather see the culture of losing go down faster than Rex Grossman can throw an interception. So, as a Christmas present to me, please, I beg you, resist the cover of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in the supermarket aisle. You'll be doing not only me a favor, but your brain will thank you as well.

Britney? Give me a *%&#@)(@-ing Break!

2006-11-08T09:28:00.000-08:00

Yeah, that's right, I'm hotter than a firecracker on the Fourth of July despite the Democrats took the House and are within a couple of contested Senate races of restoring democracy by virtue of kicking the rubber-stamping, Vladimir Putin loving, Central Committee of the Republican National Committee out of the Capitol Building and into the streets.

One has got to show some love for the new Bush Economics. Only in this healthy economy could a child predator like Mark Foley actually get a gig writing legislation to stop child predators. Here's a clue as to a good law that the GOP should have passed when they controlled Congress---------------Mark Foley is banned from using email.

Despite my apparent happiness that the Republicans are out of power in at least one chamber of Congress, there still remains the matter of the United States Senate, where the Senate races in both Montana and Virginia are too close to call despite the fact that the Democrats lead both races.

While it may appear that this dog is in heat, can anyone say 2000 again? Another potential stolen election, especially in Virginia, where a man whose campaign stafff beats people up and the candidate is, well, a racist might win through the legal process that propelled Bush to the the Presidency.

Yet, with all of this going on, the media is reporting on Brittney Spears. That's right. The eighteen year with implants has grown up to become trailer trash with two kids, married to a dancer who wants to be a rapper. K-fed, can anyone say the Eminem life story without the talent? Everywhere you go, Google, Yahoo, CNN, GOP news---I mean Fox News, and so on, all the rage is Brittney Spears is divorced.

To all those horny, single or divorced, middle-aged men going through their mid-life crisis, the news does not cater to you. If you have to be obsessed by a college-aged kid without the brainpower to rack up 100 points on the SAT, try calling up a hooker and leaving a couple hundred on the dresser, but please give us real news.

After all, it's not like we've been getting real news for the past six years. Remember those weapons of mass destruction, and no, I'm not making a cheap reference to Britney's silicon. We'd like to start hearing something in the same news category, but this time, it would be nice if it were really true.

Love It Or Leave It?

2006-10-07T23:09:00.000-07:00

Since the Vietnam Era, the traditional reply to a failed foreign policy has been based entirely on emotion in lieu of intellect, as supporters of war will commonly tell others that if they don't love America that they can leave it.

They usually go on to ask their counterpart whether or not they would like to live in Hitler's Germany, Stalin's Soviet Union, Uncle Ho's Vietnam (not a San Francisco Treat), or Hussein's Iraq.

These people are easy to spot; they lack intellect. Foreign policy is much more complicated than their limited thinking, so they lash out in emotional outbursts in order to justify what, all too often, is an unjustifiable act.

So, when evaluating American involvement in Iraq, Americans need to ask pertinent questions as to engagement in the region. Are American interests best served through involvement? Do future ramifications by involvement outweigh the short-term gains by military engagement? Could the threat posed by the Hussein dictatorship by handled in another manner short of war, yet achieve the same results?

Well, the answers to these questions are rather simple. No. No. Yes. Or, if one were taking a high school test, False, False, True.

First off, for better or worse, Hussein served a dual role, which, actually benefited American interests. Wearing two hats, Hussein liked to bully his neighbors, i.e. Iran, and maintain total control over a dynamic ethnic mix, as though he were the Iraqi version of Tito. While he may have been paranoid, genocidal, and egotistical, just to name a few adjectives, Hussein actually did serve American interests well, although not altogether perfect, as evident from the invasion of Kuwait.

Now, America is faced with a possibility that a Shiite dominated government, allied with Iran, will come to power. Thus, America, entirely by accident, may have given birth to a new, enlarged 21st century version of the Persian Empire.

Of course, this situation could have been handled much differently. By merely maintaining the No-Fly Zones, Saudi basing rights, and application of pressure through northern Iraq via the Kurds, Hussein's regime could have felt a constant threat, yet been unable to menace her neighbors. Thus, by virtue of leaving Hussein in power, Iranian power could have been checked without the loss of American life resulting in the ability of American threats having greater global credibility, as our military would not have been tied down in Baghdad.

So, for those who can't understand why opposition to the War in Iraq exists, there it is. While many may still prefer the emotional response, the failure to allow the exercise of the first amendment will leave you in Saddam's Iraq. Maybe not tomorrow, but someday.

MISTER T

2006-10-04T20:02:00.000-07:00

Judging from the title, most of my audience is probably thinking that this writer has completely deviated from the title of this blog, but let's face it, there's not a more colorful personality in this country than the legendary Mr. T.

To his loyal fans, Mr. T is has not exited stage right. Rather, Mr. T is now larger than life, as he will star in his own reality show, Reali-T, whereby Mr. T will go from city to city correcting people's behavior, for, as Mr. T has so prominently stated, "In every city, there's a fool to pity."

Yet, it is difficult to understand the T's vocabulary. So, here's a quick lesson. Jibber Jabber is when a fool is saying something completely absurd. Yet, one should not "Pity The Fool," unless the "Fool" is speaking "Jibber Jabber" and is properly informed to that fact.

So, as an example, President Bush's statements on Iraq, Afghanistan, the budget, the economy, prescription drugs, torture, and tapping his own citizens phones is nothing more than "Jibber Jabber." Since he has been told by the courts, his own National Intelligence Estimate, and GAO numbers, he knows that he is speaking "Jibber Jabber." Therefore, every American should "Pity The Fool" at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, DC.

For those who still fail to understand, Jibber Jabber would be equivalent to bullshit, and "Pity The Fool" would be equivalent to dumbass. Using the same example, President Bush's statements are bullshit. Therefore, he is a dumbass, cocksucking, motherfucker.

Okay, I made the last two up, but if you believe the reports about Jeff Gannon, then the second adjective could be true. However, the last one can't be. Who, in their right mind, would want to have sex with Barbara Bush?

Clinton Told The Truth

2006-09-28T20:47:00.000-07:00

Former President Bill Clinton told the truth regarding the horrible events of September 11, 2001, while, simultaneously, President Bush has repeatedly told the American public to just trust him, despite the fact that there is clearly illegal wiretapping, secret prisons, and National Intelligence Estimates that show Iraq will cause exponentially greater terrorist threats in the future.

While calling out President Bush for stupidity is tantamount to calling double dribble against the retarded kid, President Bush is not on some middle school playground. He is suppose to the President Of The United States, the same United States that brought Germany her first democracy, protected Western Europe against the forces of Communism, and defeated the forces of fascism during World War II.

As leader of the free world, he needs to abide by the laws that govern this great nation. If there are secret prisons and we are a nation of laws, then why is there a need for a secret prison? If the Constitution forces law enforcement to get warrants for wiretaps, then why is our government compiling phone records?

More importantly, the President has a duty to be honest with the American people, for the people put him in the Presidency. Yet, he cannot explain why there are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq or Iraqi ties to Al Qaeda prior to the American invasion of Iraq, nor can he explain why his own National Intelligence Estimate disagrees with his assessment that American involvement in Iraq is helping America win the "War On Terror."

The most important thing the President can't explain is why there are seven times the amount of troops in Iraq than troops pursuing Osama Bin Ladin. Mr. President, the American people have had enough. If President Clinton can tell the truth, then why can't you?

For The Days Of Saddam Hussein?

2006-09-24T17:07:00.000-07:00

Awww, what could be better than the longing of days past. We all do it, whether we admit to it or not. The chance to go back to college so that the stealing of the marble hippo off the quad could actually go beyond the planning phases or the opportunity to go back to high school so that you could ask that special someone out.

Well, in Iraq, they're not longing for the chance to play a prank or find a sweetheart; they're simply longing for the good ole days of Saddam Hussein. Yes, that's correct, they're yearning for that sado-masochist maniac who comprised of one-third of the Axis Of Evil.

Now, I know what most of you are thinking. You still believe the Iraqi people were happy with the removal of Saddam Hussein, so much so that you saw them tearing down the statues of Saddam once the Americans liberated the Iraqi people. You were told by your President that the Iraqis would be throwing flowers and confetti at our troops, while, simultaneously, the rest of the world would bathe in Iraqi oil to pay for the entire operation.

Guess what? There's only one American who was more duped----Britney Spears. Let's be honest, she thought the same thing about Iraq, but was also duped into not just marrying K-Fed, but having two of his kids. Pardon me while I puke.

Seriously though, a Johns Hopkins study reveals that the death rate in Iraq has increased to 7.9% annually since the American invasion, and the infant mortality rate has nearly doubled, as pregnant women are too scared to leave the house to go to the hospital to have a child.

Don't worry about these death statistics though. There's always good news in numbers; it's just a matter of finding that good news. According to the survey, very few of the deaths actually occur from one of our soldiers going eyeball to eyeball with a civilian and shooting them; most of the death comes from aerial bombardment. So, at least, it doesn't have to be on some poor sap's conscience.

Back to seriousness, President Bush is now going to have to find a new way to measure progress in Iraq rather than constantly saying, "Stay the course." For those English majors out there, no one knows what course he his talking about, which probably demonstrates the number one problem with American involvement in Iraq.

Rather than let the Bush Administration set the bar for progress in Iraq, here's a suggestion. When civilian casualties are back at Saddam Hussein levels, we might be experiencing progress in Iraq. Mr. President, keep me post on how that's coming along.

Energy Policy

2006-09-16T17:45:00.000-07:00

This country is merely a clog in the Twenty-First Century's version of the triangular trade, which has evolved into Oil-Dollars-Terrorism. If the federal government assertions are correct in its efforts to combat illegal drug use that purchasing a product that funds a murder makes you the moral equivalent of a murderer, then everyone who owns a car is a murderer.

The present triangular trade makes that logic not merely an assertion, but a cold, hard fact. Countries, such as Saudi Arabia, ship oil to Americans. Americans refine it into gasoline, where it is purchased with the dollar. These dollars are then given back countries, such as Saudi Arabia, who in turn fund religious schools, know as modrasses, that teach young children to hate Americans.

These children then become adults. You may recognize them from the evening news. They're the people on the streets of Cairo, Tehran, and Beirut burning the American flag and flying planes into our buildings, killing our fellow countrymen. Yes, every car owner is a clog in this vicious cycle and is, at least, indirectly responsible for the murders that occurred on September 11th, 2001.

So, the truth is gasoline prices being at $2.50 per gallon is not the real issue; the real issue is how to transition off of gasoline onto another alternative, such as hydrogen fuel cells.

The first thing that must occur is to ensure that the oil industry will not feel the crunch of a new technology taking the place of the precious oil. Therefore, the companies that operate your local BP or Exxon stations must receive some sort of assurance that they will not be cut out or else they will merely use their power of the purse to ensure Congress never possesses a single piece of legislation on the issue.

The easiest solution to this problem is to ensure that a law passes that requires all new service stations require an extraordinarily high cost license in order to open, but grant exemptions to all service stations presently in operation.

While forcing petroleum suppliers to switch energy supplies is a solid beginning, it is only half of the problem. American automotive manufacturers must switch to a new supply of automobiles that run on something other than gasoline.

Once again, a license is the answer to the problem. If this country mandates that all automotive manufacturers must obtain a license to sell its automobiles in this country, and as part of that license, it must produce one alternative fuel vehicle per every every gasoline based vehicle produced starting five years from now, the public will have no alternative but to purchase alternative vehicles.

However, not every driver in this country has heart enough to give up the gas guzzling SUV for an alternative fuel vehicle, despite the fact that owning an alternative fuel vehicle is the patriotic thing to do. So, in order to "encourage" those Pat Robertson-loving, SUV driving, petroleum-consuming morons who don't give a damn that the dollar they pay Exxon finances terrorism, gasoline will be taxed----$1.00 per gallon federally mandated tax once the automotive company licenses go into effect and $0.5o per gallon in the interim. Fifty cents per gallon is a cheap price to support the soldiers who are dying in the Middle East for the oil.

If we, as Americans, fail to enact true, lasting changing, we will only be shortchanging ourselves. With a huge national debt that is owned by everyone but America, our soldiers dying for our oil in Iraq, and emerging nations such as China and India craving large chunks of the world's petroleum, we must act now or risk losing our hegemonic world position.

While change cannot happen overnight, it must happen, and with the right economic tools, it can happen. The tools that were mentioned in this blog were just a few of the economic weights that can be utilized by the government, and there are more, many more, which will be elaborated on in future blogs.

PS>Feel free to let me know if the wait was worth it.

People Piss Me Off

2006-09-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's right, if you're a member of the human race, there's a high probability that you piss me off, or at least your actions do. While it might be considered a sin by most to insult the readers of a blog, I'm going to do it anyway because three incidents occurred yesterday.

Incident #1

I go into the post office to mail a package and ask for the package to be mailed. I merely ask for delivery confirmation, and the lady, who has fingernails that are so long she could star in Edward Scissorhands, informs me that I'm suppose to take care of that before I get to the counter and she'll "remember my face next time."

So let's see. I'm paying money for a package to be mailed. That makes me a customer and the clerk an employee at a business. Hmmmm, let's think about this. Good customer service? Under normal circumstances, I would have called her a witless worm of a cunt, but let's be honest, there's more firearms at a United States Post Office than at a National Guard Armory, so I thought better of it and went on with my day.

Incident #2

Near my office, they're filming the movie The Kingdom, or so I discovered after bumping into the producers of the show. Some lady randomly asks me what they're doing. I explain that they're filming the movie, and she tells me, "I haven't seen that movie." I would comment on that, but that would be tantamount to calling the retarded kid for double dribble.

Incident #3

I was asked when I got off the Metro, the underground train in Washington, how to get to a McDonald's, which was just straight ahead. I gave the man the directions, and he proceeded to walk in the exact opposite direction.

So, to the children of the corn, I beg you, nay, I implore you, go one entire day and think before you speak. I know it's harder to take than an episode of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, but please, try it. Otherwise, I might be forced to call out the retarded kid and no one wants that.

Next blog: Energy........I promise.......I really do.

Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation, Part II

2006-09-14T18:12:00.000-07:00

Last time, this writer promised that this specific blog would bash the energy sector of the economy. Guess what? I'm not going to do that, for this writer forgot about one aspect of the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation that's kind of important to know about. So, unlike a politician, the truth is that you, the reader, just got blue-balled.

However, you should take that admission with a smile on your face, not for the fact that you got screwed, but for the fact that unlike a politician, you got the truth. How refreshing and liberating does that feel? Rhetorical question; please do not answer with another bad sexual analogy. One per blog is plenty, unless, of course you're Bill Clinton, in which case I got myself famous.

Seriously though, the other noteworthy rule that the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation operates under is the fact that unsecured creditors get to go after a defunct company's assets first despite the fact that the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation was created by the Federal Government.

So, let's get this straight. You don't pay taxes. IRS and state taxation agencies sick agents to your doorstep, curse you in economic verbiage that you would consider offensive if only you could understand what they meant and then proceed to threaten you with prison, wage garnishment, or a combination of both.

However, if you are a company, you go bellyup, the people you do business with get the first crack at your assets rather than a federal agency who will be paying the pensions that the fine retired folks were promised.

See a problem? If not, this writer can use computer graphics and make this page look like a John Madden telestration. Don't make me do it.

Seriously, if the federal government garnishes wages for failure to pay taxes, refuses to let student loans be cleared with bankruptcy, and can issue arrest warrants for failing to pay parking tickets, then why should a moron who gave a line of credit to another moron be moved to the front of the line in place of a federal agency?

If you really need the answer to that one, then I'll insist that you chug a six pack, eat paint chips for dinner, and relocate to the nearest electrical substation, for the answer is that corporations own the political system by financing campaigns.

Do you honestly think that all these Congressional and Senate races are financed by local yokels who want to see thirty second spots that atrocious? Hell no. If the public truly financed this campaign, Hef would be providing the scantily-clad Playmates for Bud Bowl XXXV, and there would be a hell yes from every frat house.

Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation

2006-09-12T18:02:00.000-07:00

Since 1974, an entity called the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation has guaranteed the various pension plans that private employers make available to their employees. However, this Corporation does not cover losses to 401K plans, and is headed towards a major catastrophe if the pension guarantees that have been made cannot be paid out due to poor corporate performances by such industries as the airlines and companies, such as Ford.

Rather than try to perform some sort of magical S&L style bailout, which will have to occur if the present economic trends continue, why not punish corporations who cannot live within means.

Hell, find me a good old fashioned, cow-eating American who wouldn't mind seeing a company that screws over it retirees get what it deserves. Wait, that's not too hard to find, but what is harder to find is a way to screw the company back, while, simultaneously helping the retirees that they took out behind the barnshed.

So, here's the best way to protect future retirees and help present retirees:

Eliminate Pension Plans altogether and replace them with 401K plans with the stipulation that all 401K plans cannot include the stock of the company that the employees work for. No one wants those marvelous folks at Enron to screw everyone over again.
Any publicly-held company that defaults on its present pension obligations must limit its corporate board, regardless of the size of the board, to no more than a five million dollar salary until restitution has been paid to the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation. That's right...All you Chapter 11 Company weasels have to take a pay cut to take care of your employees first.
If the company can't come up with the revenue, then the company has to charge all of its customers, retail or wholesale, a 1% tax until full restitution has been made to the Pension Benefit Guarany Corporation.

While these measures may appear a bit harsh or even accuse this writer of utilizling the pen as a weapon against the wealthy elite, the bottom line is that these corporations, not the government, made a pledge to their employees.

If corporate revenues have fallen to the point to threaten the very being of a corporate entity, then yes, the government can provide short-term help, but government should not be compelled to take action if the corporation will do nothing to honor the commitments to its employees.

The only truly economic measure to ensure the pensions that were promised to this nation's retirees is to punish corporations who utilize the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation as a quick solution to its financial woes, while, simultaneously, allowing the Corporation to operate as normal for those corporations who are defunct.

Stay tuned for the next blog..........the next sector of the economy to get bashed........the energy sector.

Hell In A Handbasket

2006-09-09T10:35:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know everyone is thinking that I've evolved from some sort of liberal into an old man who is sitting on his front porch, smoking a pipe, and telling all of the kids that the country is going straight to hell in a handbasket because they don't have to walk twenty miles to school, uphill, during the worst blizzard of the Twentieth Century because of the odd title of this particular blog.

Guess what? That's exactly what this blog is going to be about. When one pulls out the paper today, one is stuck reading all sorts off odd news. In case you're anything like President Bush and don't read the newspaper, let me give you the highlights of this week's news:

According to the Evansville Courier & Press Opinion page many women are going to vote for Brad Ellsworth for Congress because he looks better than Representative Hostettler. Granted, Hostettler's so dumb that he probably wouldn't pass a competency hearing on his firearms charge, but, nonetheless, appearance counts more than substance. Go figure.
According to the Washington Post, New York Times, and just about every other major news outlet, the Taliban has reconstituted such a serious threat in Southern Afghanistan that NATO is needing reinforcements. Remember that guy Bin Laden, you know the one who is the head of those morons who brought down the World Trade Center. NATO needs reinforcement to fight his Islamic Fascists, to quote the President. Wait, all our troops are in Iraq. Sorry, our bad.
The weirdest story has to be out of Milwaukee, where even the International Herald Tribune is reporting this very vulgar crime story. Apparently, an eleven year old girl, who was born with HIV, was sexually assaulted by twenty boys as a sixteen year old girl told the boys what to do during the assault. If that wasn't bad enough, apparently, the guardian, a forty-year old uncle, will probably also be charged, as he has had sex with the eleven-year old girl.

Does anyone need anymore proof that the world is going to hell in a handbasket? Well, if you can brush aside this week's news, and these are just the easily identifiable fruitcake stories, than you're a better person than I.

Seriously though, the way this country is going, something has to be done, and there are no easy answers. Americans face Muslim extremists who want to destroy our very way of life, and to a degree, they're succeeding, as the President has to end our liberties to "make us safe." Our military is stretched so thin that if the military were a person, it would be Calista Flockhart.

Meanwhile, our schools cannot compete with graduates from other industrialized countries, our wages are stagnant, our country is becoming increasingly owned by overseas conglomerates, there is no guarantee that Americans can retire, and our debt is so much and owned by so many foreign investors that if the debt were ever called in, America would revert to a third world nation.

All the while, we just kick back, keep leading our lives as though nothing were wrong. Well, I'm sick and tired of just of picking out a few pieces of what's wrong, inserting a witty little remark, such as "that car was designed when Patton was slapping soldiers," and moving along to the next day in the hopes that hey, somebody might actually pick up on what I'm talking about.

So, I'm going to do something weird, as though the fact that I know all these obscure facts isn't weird enough. From this point forward, I'm going to write a quick little solution to each of the problems that face us, from a more economic point of view. Let's face it, the only thing that greases the wheels in this country is the green stuff with Benjamin's portrait on it. Hopefully, it won't be too boring.

It's The Fish, Stupid!

2006-09-06T20:49:00.000-07:00

For the past several years, the political debate in this country has focused on whether or not the religious right is properly satisfied with the efforts of the Bush Administration to placate the Pat Robertson loving, bible-thumping morons who wouldn't know policy from polygamy.

That rant aside, the Associated Press has reported today that fish in the Potomac River are having a gender identity crisis, as male fish tend to develop female characteristics later in life, such as laying eggs.

Naturally, scientists attribute this phenomena to pollution. On the other hand, Jerry Falwell, while spending his days at Bob Jones University, which from this point forward shall always be referred to as BJU for the sake of humor, will probably attribute this to the expansion of gay society, which will need to be curtailed with a Constitutional Amendment banning transgendered fish from marrying one another.

Seriously, though, can one help but to notice the irony that Bush's environmental policies have contributed to mutated, transgendered fish, while his core supporters are religious zealots, who have aligned themselves with big business, such as polluters who mutate fish?

Girls Gone Wild

2006-09-05T17:46:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not promising a young twenty year drunk hottie with a 36DD rack, lifting up her top before some cameras for some beads, twenty minutes of fame, and good stroke material for a forty-year old perv who still hasn't figured out how to properly utilize the internet----to search for hardcore porn.

Rather, according to my hometown newspaper, a USI student purchased a workout video, Seven Days, Seven Workouts, which was a two-disc DVD set that contained one legitimate workout DVD and one pornographic DVD.

After laughing off the shock of the video, the student then showed the video to her mother, who was so horrified that a child might accidentally purchase the video that she did the only patriotic American thing a person could do-----find a lawyer.

The lawyer in question, Mr. Rick Cory, informed the mother that he was "doubtful that a legal case could be developed" and decided to raise public awareness by going to the newspaper. The newspaper, with all that is going on in the world, from the constant violence in the Middle East, lack of a cohesive energy plan, and on and on and on, chose to ran the story about guess what-------the X-Rated workout video.

Now, all of this occurred "for the children." So, let's examine the "for the children" rally cry carefully and in detail. In a planet that suffers from overpopulation, in a country where mothers deplete the ozone layer in order to drive their kids to soccer practice in a gas guzzling tank that was designed when leaded gasoline was in style and Patton was slapping troops, we're suppose to care about the kids.

Let's call a spade a spade; this was nothing more someone's sex life having never involved the Kama Sutra, a lawyer who wanted to score points in the public arena faster than a Frenchman can surrender, and a cheesy-ass newspaper, who is so derelict in their job of reporting real news that their staff could only be qualified to serve the Bush Administration, wanting to sell a few more papers.

If you really want to do something "for the children," how about all day Kindergarten. If not, this workout partner has plenty of free time for the sake of public education, and I'm not talking about volume one of this set.

To view the original Evansville Courier & Press article, go to this link:

http://www.courierpress.com/news/2006/sep/04/exercise-video-rates-x-rating/

Indiana's Eighth Congressional District Debate

2006-09-02T13:13:00.000-07:00

Once again it appears that a series of snafus has created a stir in the Hostettler-Ellsworth race. According to the Courier & Press, three different chapters of the League of Women Voters, along with the various media outlets that were going to broadcast the event, sent out invitations to both the Hostettler and Ellsworth camps, only to have Hostettler's camp accept and Ellsworth's camp wanting the debate, but just iron out the details before formally accepting.

It all appears pretty logical from both points of view, and nothing appears out of the ordinary, until, of course, the fast-acting Congressman opened his mouth by saying, according to the Courier & Press, "The United States House of Representatives is no place for a person who is weak on the issues, as well as weak on his feet," in reference to Sheriff Ellsworth.

Facing an unprecedented moment in history, where the lack of access to health care, soaring energy prices, a cooling economy, and wars in Afghanistan and Iraq endanger the very fabric of the American experience as we all know it, Representative Hostettler just demonstrated, to the entire Eighth Congressional District, how childish and petty this Republican controlled Congress has been, while, simultaneously, demonstrating how smart the Ellsworth Camp is for wanting to figure out exactly what is going on with the debate before accepting.

Congratulations Congressman Hostettler. You just gave a textbook example of what is wrong in Washington today, and all of your constituents heard it loud and clear.

TSA Overstepping Its Bounds

2006-08-12T17:36:00.000-07:00

From the outset, the Bush Administration's efforts to make Americans feel safe has been nothing short of a farce. While anecdotal evidence is not always the greatest piece of evidence, one of my good female friends, good to me as a friend and to any horny red-blooded American male or lesbian, got pulled out of line for extra security screening on over half of her flights between Washington, DC and New York in the months following the September 11th attacks.

Let's be honest, if you're a 5'4 inch petite brunette with a pretty face and knockers that make the Grand Tetons envious, you're going to be on TSA's list of suspected terrorists, probably for the sole purpose of TSA's new line of videos Patdowns Gone Wild.

Moving from anecdotal evidence, the AP's Mark Scolforo has reported that three state agencies, including Pennsylvania and Kentucky, are now selling items that TSA has confiscated for a profit.

It should be noted that Pennsylvania is leading the charge into turning confiscated items into profit, as the state sells small lots of items, such as Swiss Army Knife lots and Hockey Lots, which includes pucks, goalie masks, and hockey sticks.

Additionally Pennsylvania utilizes student truck drivers to transport the goods and state workers who cannot perform their current jobs due to injuries or other reasons sort the incoming goods.

While one must recognize the need for safety, TSA has clearly overstepped its bounds by confiscating these items, along with sex toys, blenders, deer antlers, artificial palm trees, jewelry, and batteries. Most of these items are not a danger to the flying public; the fact that TSA now has sex toys is a danger to my female friend who must continue to fly the all-to-friendly skies.

All of this raises the twenty-four thousand dollar question. If Bin Ladin and his co-horts has forced Americans to have a government operation to take items that belongs to ordinary Americans so that the government can sell it for a profit, then hasn't Bin Ladin already won the War On Terror if Americans rights have been so curtailed?

If no one cares enough about these types of questions, that's cool. I'll gladly accept $500 worth of sex toys and porn for my silence. Please, Pennsylvania, let me know if we have a deal or not.

Get Foreign Policy Right

2006-07-30T19:07:00.000-07:00

It astonishes one to discover how often uninformed opinion can reach the editorial pages across this country until one picks up the opinion page, only to discover a columnist or reader taking time out of his or her very busy day in order to accuse the Democrats of wanting to abandon democratic ideals and allies in the Middle East.

While the writer does not have access to Hillary Clinton or Russ Feingold's brain, this writer does have access to all the foreign policy publications on the news stand. Those facts show that the foreign policy establishment agree on many points, including the fact that Hezbollah is much more than a terrorist organization; it is a state within a state.

Hezbollah has managed to provide services, such as road repair, housing, education, and health care that should have been handled by the Lebanese government. Thus, a situation has been created where many Lebanese loyalties lye with Hezbollah rather than the Lebanese government.

Hezbollah is not the only terrorist organization to perform these tasks in order to gain supporters in the area in which it operates; Hamas does the exact same thing. The real problem is not whether or not the Democrats are opposed to terrorists; they are. The real twenty-four thousand dollar question is how to pry away support for these terrorist organizations considering they are their own state within a state.

If, however, the nation's readership would rather spend their time trying to pin blame on a political party, then why has no one went after President Bush. During the Palestinian and Lebanese elections, this President did not insist on disarming those terrorist groups as a pre-requisite to participation in democratic elections. Now, America and her allies, predominately Israel, are paying the price.

Exit Strategy Best Solution

2006-07-23T17:59:00.000-07:00

For the past several months, neo-conservatives have continued to push the opinion that the liberal media does not support the troops in Iraq by virtue that many liberals are opposed to the mission the troops in Iraq are charged with carrying out.

Nothing could be further from the truth, as it remains unfathomable that any truly compassionate American could wish harm upon his or her fellow countrymen. For that reason, many liberals are pushing for an exit strategy that would compel Iraq to stand on its own feet, while, simultaneously, insisting upon an American draw-down in Iraq so that American forces are not maliciously used by an Iraqi-Shite dominated government in order to tip the scales of the sectarian violence that has erupted since President Bush declared, "Mission Accomplished."

While many would like to condemn liberals as cut and run folks, the bottom line remains that the Bush Administration and its neo-conservative allies sold this war to the American public under the assumption that our troops would be greeted by Iraqis with roses as liberators, democracy would spread throughout the Middle East, and oil would pay for the war.

Americans are now paying astronomical prices at the gas pump, and the only democracy that is spreading is on the brink of collapse in Lebanon, while, simultaneously, the Palestinians are electing terrorists to rule their country. More importantly, the only roses that this writer sees being thrown at American soldiers are on their graves.

It becomes more and more evident with every passing day that the neo-conservative political bloc plunged this country into a disastrous war that has tied down this nation's military so that it cannot be used as leverage in the current crises that faces American interests around the globe. Clearly, neo-conservatives have demonstrated, on a scale that should never have been tolerable, that they possess a .009 mm mind in a .25 caliber world.

Bush Stinks, Feel Sorry For Him

2006-04-20T18:08:00.000-07:00

There is nothing worse for a President than the realization that the second term is going down the crapper like a keg a Delta toga party. George W. Bush, much like his predecessors, is facing the challenge of a lame-duck status, while the stories of Presidential abuse pile up.

Unlike Reagan who faced Iran-Contra, Clinton with Monica Lewinsky, or Nixon with Watergate, Bush's Administration has been classified by John Dean as being the most secretative White House in American History.

Whether opening up illegal detention centers in Eastern Europe, waging a war in Iraq for whatever the reason of this week is, failing to realize the petroleum problems that continue to prevent the economy from moving forward, this President's policies are only hinder future Presidents ability to act in America's best interests.

For that, the American people should feel sorry for him. After all, no President wants to leave the White House with a tarnished image. The only difference between Reagan, Nixon, and Clinton is that they disgraced themselves, not the country. For that, George W. Bush will have a special place in American History and deserves the sorrow of his countrymen for failing to live up to the expectations of the world's hegemonic power.

My Pet Peeves

2006-03-07T17:51:00.000-08:00

The news, in its inifinite wisdom, continues to publish stories that annoy this writer in order to pacify the millions of Americans who view an Oprah Book Club endorsement as a newsworthy event rather than focusing on the important issues that presently face this nation. In that proud tradition, here's a sample of some of the items that America deemed newsworthy today.

Apparently, the couple from the Bachelor, Dr. Travis Stork and Sharon Stone, an elementary school teacher, called their romance over citing the fact that they had grown apart when exiting the fantasy world of reality television. While this may hurt most, this writer hopes to watch Miss Stone bend over and pickup the Wedgits.

Additionally, web sites are now developing in order to warn women, and some men, away from internet dating sites, including dontdatehimgirl.com and womansavers.com. While women may enjoy this helpful warning, as even this male will admit all men are dogs, it now appears that most men will have to go back to attempting to break the barrier with good old alcohol or else fly solo for the evening.

Finally in today's lap of poor news coverage was Terri Hatcher's admission that she was sexually abused by her uncle. Yeah, sexual abuse sucks and his uncle deserves to rot on the lowest level of Dante's Inferno, but is it really news considering every two and a half minutes, someone will be raped?

While it may appear insensitive, this writer is sick and tired of hearing about the freak show that is today's news. Where's the beef? Where's the stories on the Iranians trying to get nukes, the Iraqis having a civil war, and Hamas taking power in the Middle East? Wait, I forgot, it's Oscar time.

Time To Say Goodbye

2006-03-02T13:38:00.000-08:00

It is that time of year where it appears that Americans are about to say goodbye to a great many things, such as The West Wing and abortion, at least in South Dakota and Mississippi. That's right, the progressive state governments in South Dakota and Mississippi are wanting to restrict abortions to only those women whose pregnancies threaten their lives, leaving no option open to women who are pregnant as a result of rape or incest.

While I'm no Professor in bio-ethics, ethical choices where scientific lines can only be drawn in with the assistance of a gray marker, require much more individual freedom to ascertain what the best decision is for that specific case. No man in government can tell a woman who has been raped how it feels to have to be raped again by being forced to have a child, even if it was against her will.

Wait a minute, that's exactly what Mississippi and South Dakota are trying to do. Male dominated legislatures and governors are going to tell rape victims that they must carry the seed of a rapist to term. The victim doesn't have a choice; the state legislature made it for them.

Little girls don't grow up telling their mommies that their goal in life is to have an abortion. Rather, moral choices are difficult and confusing, but as America has learned about Iraq, choices do exist. Sometimes, the choice is best left up to those who have to live day-to-day with the decisions rather than trying to make moral absolutes in less than absolute world.

To be perfectly honest, this writer or most of America can't say whether or not one a fetus is a child with one-hundred percent certainty, nor can they say whether or not there is a heaven and a hell or what we have to do to avoid being sent there. All anyone can do is do their best to lead their lives according to the best ethics possible under the circumstances.

Of course, the choices aren't always clear. To be human is to err, but what I do know is that if my sister was raped, she should have the abortion option open to her. Should her husband ever lay a hand on her, I'm personally marching her down to the courthouse, and there's no moral son of a bitch in this country that can change my mind, for morality is all too often doing the best that one can do under extraordinarily trying circumstances.

Veterans Suffer From Bush's Fiscal Policy

2006-02-27T17:44:00.000-08:00

Rather than asking millions of Americans to sacrifice in a time of war, President Bush did what he does best by refusing to acknowledge that the economics of a post-September 11th world dictates that he cannot have his tax cut and fight the War on Terrorism, pretty much the same conclusion that President Johnson reached when he realized that the bitch of war in Vietnam killed his sweetheart the Great Society.

In order to maintain his tax cut, President Bush has decided to implement draconian measures within his proposed Veterans Administration budget in order to obtain a balanced budget. By 2009, the medical services budget for the Veterans Administration will hover around the $27 billion dollar mark and remain at that level for the next four years despite the more costly care of veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan and the need to tend to the aging Korean and Vietnam veterans.

While it remains easy to ask people to be patriotic, veterans have already done their part. Whether a war is right or wrong is a matter of conjecture that only history can judge, but veterans answered the call to arms. If they can answer the call to arms, certainly the rest of the population can answer the call to the pocketbook. Our veterans deserve that much.

Can The President Take An IQ Test?

2006-02-26T15:57:00.000-08:00

While it is rude to suggest that the Commander In Chief of the United States Armed Forces take an IQ test, President Bush has proved the exception to the rule. Be it declaring a landslide victory in an election that the Supreme Court had to decide to declaring Mission Accomplished in Iraq when the formation of an insurgency was in the process of forming, President Bush proved that Forest Gump is not some Hollywood magic that can be easily emulated.

This week alone, the President managed to stumble throughout yet another turbulent time during his tyrannical reign by permitting a state-owned United Arab Emirates corporation to take over management duties at six American ports. While Congress and the American people were outraged, President Bush did what he did best: bore and ignore.

That's right, the President bored the critics, who were clearly non-partisan, and ignored those lawmakers who have serious qualms about the entire process by threatening to veto any bill they passed. Upon hearing that Congress had enough votes to override the veto, President Bush called his daddy and was quoted as saying, "That's not fair; I'm the King," only to be reminded by his father that wearing a Burger King Crown entitles him only to the powers of discounted French Fries by someone in the manufacturing sector of the economy.

Seriously though, permitting a state-run company whose corporate headquarters is in a region that observes the Sabbath by burning the American flag is hardly the model of a company that one would want managing a port, yet alone a neighborhood 7-11.

While many would like to believe this position is ethnically biased, it is not. It lies in the fact that two of the September 11th hijackers were from the United Arab Emirates, the United Arab Emirates rather than individual shareholders who want to make money own the corporation, and America does not know what would happen to the management of her ports should the present leaders of the United Arab Emirates be replaced by Hamas-like figures.

Rather than answering these long-term questions that are vital to the American economy, the President continues to amuse the American public with rouses that are so flimsy that not even Robert Shapiro can say them with a straight face. So, this writer shall lay down the gauntlet and demand the President take an IQ test. After all, with this string of events, the word dumb comes to mind. Although, I'll put five down that the President thinks the word dumb is actually spelled "DUM."

Representative Anne Northup Tackles My Space

2006-02-23T12:39:00.000-08:00

Even fifty-eight year old Congresswoman Anne Northup (R-Kentucky) loves to destroy terrorists, watch Fox News, bash Lou Dobbs, and suck up to Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity.

Yet, this public outburst is not quite satisfying enough for Representatitve Northup, as she has decided to swing onto the internet at the popular website Myspace.com, where her own profile lists her as a "swinger."

Either Ms. Northup has not yet viewed Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery or she doesn't mind the fact that the word swinger is to the religious right what non-alcoholic beer is to Courtney Love.

Cheney Shoots Friend

2006-02-13T16:04:00.000-08:00

My mother once told me that if I kept friends like the ones I had, then who needed enemies. At this very hour, Vice President Dick Cheney's friend Harry Whittington is probably wishing that my momma had been his momma after being shot by his good friend.

While the shooting of another human being is a serious violation of moral law, even if it is accidental, Cheney, in his usual fashion, once again chose to hide under the cloak of the office of the Vice-Presidency and refuse to release details of the incident until after the local Corpus Christi, Texas newspaper had reported the incident.

For all those Republicans who wouldn't permit Vince Foster to rest in peace, this writer sincerely hopes that a special prosecutor will be appointed to ensure that the Vice-President wasn't trying to kill someone to coverup a shady deal, maybe with Halliburton. Unlike President Clinton, everyone knows the Mr. Whittington was shot by the Vice-President.

Then again, liberals are smart enough to realize that this is the same man who thought those WMD's were in Iraq and them links from Saddam to Osama were solid. That's why even his political enemies know conspiracy theory is out the window; Dick Cheney is just that stupid.

Gotta love a political process that puts Dumb & Dumber into the White House.

Freedom Cannot Occur In Middle East

2006-02-05T14:48:00.000-08:00

For the past couple of days, Arabs throughout the world have been forced to resort to violence to defend the Prophet Mohammed from extreme attacks from cartoonists. From cartoonists?

Yes, that is correct. Apparently, the greatest threat to the Arab world is not the threat that the United States will become energy independent, the Israelis will never grant an independent Palestine, or the United States will never leave Iraq.

Following the printing of a Danish cartoon, the Arab world has exploded into turmoil, causing many Muslims in Lebanon to look for Westerners to kidnap, while other Muslims in Lebanon and Syria chose to torch the Danish embassy, which is, of course, the mature Animal House-esque response, except for the fact that Delta wasn't armed to the teeth with AK-47's and hand grenades.

While not wanting to offend Muslims, the bottom line is that freedom is not free. There are trade-offs involved. Free societies allow even the worst form of speech to be articulated, from the hate-mongering Ku Klux Klan to the retarded speech of any Jerry Springer guest. If one doesn't like the speech that is spoken, one has the right to say so or the right to ignore.

Rather than follow that course of action, the response has been to burn embassies and threaten more violence. If this is the true state of what the average person in the Middle East believes, then how is freedom ever going to be on the march? It's a very good thing that this infidel lives in the United States, unless, of course, one is a guest on the O'Reilly Factor.

New Bedford, Massachusetts

2006-02-04T15:03:00.000-08:00

In order to become an American citizen, all one has to do is subscribe to the Jeffersonian notion that all men are guaranteed the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Yet, for the past several years, religious zealots have attempted to assail the rights of gay Americans to pursue all of the above.

While religious zealots continue to point out the Bible to demonstrate the point that homosexuality is a sin, the virtue of freedom, as outlined in the Constitution, is the fact that all Americans have the right to pursue the course of action that achieves them happiness. Only when the right to do so interferes with another's right to pursue happiness does the Supreme Court have to balance those competing rights.

Whether people like it or not, gay Americans have the same rights to pursue happiness as anyone else. Statistics can be considered dull and boring, but roughly 10% of Americans are gay. If that statistic is true, it means that at least four former Presidents were gay, 40 Congressmen and 10 Senators are gay, and at least one member of your family is gay.

With these type of numbers, how can one turn around and say that homosexuality is such a sin that it is okay to exclude them from the family as conservative Alan Keyes does to his daughter? How can one deny gay couples from controlling their own lives by giving them the spousal rights to jointly own property, have joint health care, and determine the best possible course of medical action when their partner is unable to? More importantly, how can religious leaders fill people with enough hate to justify the taking of Jefferson's most important right, the right to life?

What occurred in New Bedford, Massachusetts is a wakeup call to the rest of the country. It epitomizes the problems with the very freedoms that we claim to be fighting for the rest of the world to have. If religious leaders, such as Pat Robertson, want to debate whether or not Civil Unions or Gay Marriage is the answer to the present problem, that is his right. However, the tone that is being struck in this debate is indirectly contributing to the atmosphere that allowed New Bedford. Hopefully, the Christian Right can absolve themselves of that sin.

Army Recruiters Blow Monkey Chunks

2006-02-03T14:25:00.000-08:00

Local Maryland parents are protesting the presence of a Mobile Army Recruiting Station, which, for the purpose of this article will be referred to as Mars. Apparently, Mars offers high school students the opportunity to watch videos on the physics of roller coasters or enjoy simulators that permits students to see what if feels like shoot targets, drive in a NASCAR race, or skydive.

Apparently, Mars is out of this world, as is the logic of the United States Armed Forces. While not wanting to limit the ability of the military to recruit those who will defend this country, there can be no doubt that the Army's approach is dishonest at best, morally repugnant at worst.

Wars are not roller coasters or NASCAR races, although it can be skydiving if a kid signs up for Airborne. NASCAR, while dangerous, does not force its drivers to ride along roadways that offer up ambushes or IED's. Nor are there any signs that roller coasters will be built during our visit to Iraq, although it is an apt analogy for America's mediocre foreign policy.

If the Army doesn't mind polluting children's minds with the falsehoods of war, then the teachers have an obligation to teach them the truth. They have an obligation to take them to Walter Reed and see the soldiers whose bodies are no longer temples to the human spirit, but are stripped of arms and legs that shows all the signs of experience.

War is no roller coaster ride; war is hell.

Forgot A Tradition

2006-02-03T14:12:00.000-08:00

England, possessing a greater heritage in the practice of democracy, demands the Prime Minister face Parliament and answer their questions on any subject, be it on preventing Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons or whether or not to close a post office in Manchester.

Unlike England, America has no such mechanisms to compel the Chief Executive to explain his positions. While the American people are accustomed to hearing the President make policy speeches, deliver the State of the Union Address, and even entertain the media at a press conference, there is no mechanism in our system to compel the President to answer a question or face the wrath of a determined follow-up by an interrogator.

While one would like to believe that the forth estate adequately ensures that the President answers pertinent questions, the President has the option to ignore reporters who vigorously push for information.

Throughout American history, there are plenty of examples where opposition pressure compels answers to difficult questions, but all too often, the questions are asked much too late. Had Lyndon Johnson been pressured to answer the wisdom of escalation in Vietnam, Nixon been shown that there is no such thing as an imperial Presidency, or Buchanan forced to defend the south's right to secede, fateful crises could have been averted.

While one would be insane to ask the President about a postal facility in Chandler, Indiana, one could ask the President why Americans are dying in Iraq? Or maybe, one could ask him why oil independence wasn't the first priority after September 11th? After all, our oil funds the madrasses that teach young Arabs to hate us. Too bad our founding fathers forgot that English tradition.

Dear Mr. President

2006-02-01T08:20:00.000-08:00

I would like to thank you for taking time out of your very busy schedule in order to address your fellow countrymen last night. Unfortunately, you chose to an elaborate defense of the indefensible foreign policy of ending tyranny abroad at the point of a gun rather than planning to end the tyrannical realities that face all of us.

Since the invasion of Iraq and the announcement that the mission was accomplished, the only roses that I have seen thrown are on the graves of the soldiers who were not fortunate enough to return to this democracy alive. The only oil money that has paid my for my National Guard Unit's trip to Baghdad has come from gas taxes and corporate taxes on oil companies.

I am sick and tired of watching my parents return home from work everyday, dogs aching from working hard everyday, earning the same wages as they did last year, only to find their paycheck cannot keep up with the price increases at Wal-Mart.

While it maybe beyond your control, my grandmother lost the health insurance her company promised her she could have in retirement. Could someone tell me how she's suppose to pay for her last trip to the hospital, yet alone the massive amount of pills she has to take daily?

She's not the only member of my family who needs help. I'm really proud of my nephew. He's incredibly smart for a five-year old, but our school district can't afford to send everyone to Kindergarten, which means a good chunk of his first-grade class won't be able to read. How's he suppose to realize his potential?

I hate to sound like John Mellencamp, but we are the people, the people whose name you act in. While you've been fighting tyranny in the Middle East in order to bring democracy to people who want to be represented by Hamas, tyranny grows faster on the banks of the Ohio, not the Euphrates.

We are all sick and tired, and when we hear speeches praising the moral leadership of the past six years, we often question the morality of someone who has led us down this path for the same six years. Do you think you can remember my grandmother, parents, and nephew before my nephew's only opportunity to advance in life is to be stationed in the Middle East while his parents sit on the banks of the Ohio hoping they won't have to see the roses?

Coretta Scott King

2006-01-31T13:39:00.000-08:00

While many critics are free to charge that Martin Luther King was a spokesman for a movement that led him, there can be no doubt that he was spokesman for the rights and dignity of all mankind, be it the rights of African-Americans or restoring the dignity to those who hated with all the passion in their hearts by showing them love and forgiveness in lieu of responding with hatred in kind.

Not only did Dr. King speak out against the inequalities in America; he spoke out against the greatest purveyor of destruction in the world: his government. Despite his efforts to produce lasting change, he was gunned down in Memphis, Tennessee in a year that saw progressive American leadership thrown out, such as the assassination of Bobby Kennedy and the impressive vote tallies that racist Alabama Governor George Wallace racked up.

In the past forty years, not much has changed. Trick Dick and Alzy Ronny won two terms each, while the progressives have been forced to settle with a humane man from Georgia whose moral values inspired many but managerial skills failed to compel real change and an Arkansas Governor who was so cautiously moderate that he could have been mistaken for a Republican.

All the while, Dr. King's observation about the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today remains true. Throughout the difficulty of enduring the past forty years and the things that might have been had her husband and Bobby Kennedy not been assassinated in 1968, Coretta Scott King continued to march on, as the public appeared to be sapped of its will to follow for fear that it might become the victim of a slain leader.

She managed to protest apartheid in South Africa, establish a holiday for her slain husband, open up her husband's papers to researchers, and remain an active member of various groups committed to social change. With the travesties in Iraq and New Orleans evident for all to see, Coretta Scott King's death may very well be the contemporary equivalent of the simultaneous deaths of John Adams and Thomas Jefferson fifty years to the day of the signing of the Declaration Of Independence.

One can only hope that George Bush gets the timing and realizes that compassion can only occur when the haves of our society are willing to sacrifice in order to assist those in our society who need help the most. We shall all find out tonight.

Patronage Sucks

2006-01-30T08:19:00.000-08:00

President Bush, in another inspiring act of patronage, has earmarked much of the money designed to prevent the spread of AIDS in Africa to faith-based groups, including, but not limited to, World Relief (National Association Of Evangelicals) received $9.7 million for abstinence work and Catholic Relief Services received $6.2 million to teach abstinence and fidelity.

While no one wants to penalize anyone for waking up at the buttcrack of dawn on a Sunday morning and passing up NFL Countdown on ESPN, the bottom line remains that the line between Church and State is being violated more often than a cease fire between the Palestinians and Israelis.

With more than $1 billion of the $14.5 billion earmarked for social spending in the 2003 budget going to faith-based grants, President Bush is clearly attempting to reward the religious right for his electoral victories at the expense of ensuring the best possible policy that will help the greatest number of people.

In Africa, for example, men consider it a stigma to use condoms because of the contradiction between health workers who tell them to use condoms during sex and missionaries who tell them that fidelity is the only thing that matters.

However, this is not the only issue. Religious institutions in America enjoy the fact that they do not have to pay taxes or even disclose their financial records, unless they are sued and need to prove that they do not have the ability to pay. Meanwhile, the religious right is free to swing the vote in a Presidential election, while being rewarded by the Faith-Based Grant Program, which is advertised on more governmental websites than Madonna has miles on her back. Geez, I guess there's no need to dig up Boss Tweed with Bush in the White House.

Hugo Chavez To The Rescue

2006-01-30T07:32:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of Che Guevara, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez rose to power on a socialist agenda critical of the United States, much to the dismay of the Bush Administration. While it remain easy to criticize Chavez's tactics and ideology, such as Pat Robertson's wish that someone would put a bullet in his brain, Chavez has done more than most to alleviate this winter's suffering in New England over energy bills than President Bush appears to even care.

Citgo, the retailing arm of Venezuela's petroleum industry, responded to a challenge by a group of United States Senators for oil companies, who reaped record profits last year, to provide a portion of their profits to help the poor. Of the ten major companies singled out by this challenge, only CITGO has responded.

Many accuse Hugo Chavez of merely utilizing this gesture as a way to take a jab at President Bush. If that's the case, it's working. In a year that has seen the drastically rising costs of petroleum products with no effort made by the Administration to take the first real steps towards energy independence or provide further assistance to the most needy in our society, Chavez's philanthropist diplomacy illustrates just how weak the Administration is on this issue.

Regardless of one's view of Hugo Chavez's ideological positions, people who receive Citgo's charity have a much different view than the Bush Administration, as they really don't care where it comes from as long as the choice isn't between starving or freezing to death. To quote Maine resident Mary Lyons, "Thanks to Venezuela for making this help available to us."

Too bad that a country with roughly one-eighth the per capita income as the United States has the leader who actually sees the effects of poverty in the United States and does something about it. I guess poverty wasn't part of the Compassionate Conservative's Health Care Plan.

Bush's Press Conference

2006-01-28T14:08:00.000-08:00

President George Bush held an impromptu Press Conference on Thursday. Were the news stations incorrect? Was someone referring to a Saturday Night Live skit? Of course not, but in this Administration's typical style, everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

During the opening, a camera was waving from side to side in front of the President. Obviously, the NSA Domestic Spying program caught another innocent bystander. When finally pressed about the Domestic spying program, the President claimed had he been able to eavesdrop on the hijackers phone calls through his spying program, 9/11 could have been prevented, but the hijackers were living in the United States. Is that an admission of domestic spying?

When asked what was wrong with the FISA law that he had to circumvent it, the President said that he wasn't breaking the law, and was "upholding my duty, and at the same time, doing so under the law and with the Constitution behind me. " What about the FISA law? Did he never read the statute? Did he not comprehend the statute?

While this writer completely detests the President, please, for the sake of this country's credibility, keep the President away from an open mic. He only leaves the appearance that the entire country lives in a trailer park where everyone is missing a front tooth. Wait, that was his core constituency.

LA Times Editorial

2006-01-27T05:44:00.000-08:00

Having a father who is a Vietnam Veteran and hearing the horror stories of veterans being spat on and called baby killers upon returning to what they thought was civilization, it remains easy to bash someone like Joel Stein, whose LA Times editorial Warriors and Wusses encourages those who do not support the war to stop saying they support the troops while not supporting the war.

However, this writer, having read the article in its entirety, stands by Joel Stein's opinion. Often, troops are sent into harm's way for reasons that many of the soldiers themselves may not fully understand, be it stopping dominos from tumbling down in Southeast Asia to humanitarian missions in Bosnia, Kosovo, or Somalia.

Since some troops are unable to determine whether or not foreign policy is truly in the best interests of the United States, opponents should not personally take out their criticism on the troops, but opponents should not support lead others to mistaken their position by posting yellow ribbons and American flags all over their house, car, and lapel.

There remains a vast distinction between throwing the instruments of a policy that violates the central tenants of international law by trampling on sovereign borders without legal justification a ticker-tape parade and spitting on the soldiers who are merely clogs in a machine.

If one believes that the War In Iraq is the correct policy, build the float. If one opposes the war, don't spit on the soldiers and call them names, but don't buy the ribbons because everyone knows that its insincere.

Regardless of whether or not one supports or opposes the War In Iraq, Vietnam, or any other place where are troops are sent, there is a sacred bond between the military and the government. For their willingness to sacrifice when so few are willing to, they do deserve the very best benefits, be it health care or education. Sometimes, a parade can be a bit much; this is one of those times.

Rummy, Condy, EU Investigation, Oh My!

2006-01-26T05:40:00.000-08:00

The European Union parliamentary committee investigating American human rights abuses on its soil may ask Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice to testify, although by its own admission it does not have the power to subpoena their testimony. The EU is presently investigating whether or not its member countries were used as a staging ground for abductions, detention and/or torture at secret sites, or the illegal transportation of terror suspects from EU soil to countries who do not have an enlightened outlook on human rights.

While unable to legally compel testimony from anyone within the Bush Administration, the EU committee has reasonable grounds to demand answers considering the legal liberties the President has taken and acknowledged during the War On Terror, including, but not limited to, refusing to fully recognize the Geneva Convention, warrantless domestic spying on the American public, and the Abu Gharib torture scandal in Iraq.

Many on the right will continue to view the EU with suspicion, claiming that when time for them to be with us or against us, they were against us. This logic may induce many neo-conservatives to merely utilize this EU probe as a convenient pinata to bash those who opposed the War In Iraq, but such logic would be a grave mistake.

After the end of Nazi tyranny during World War II, it was the United States who ensured that the Nazis would receive at fair trial at Nuremberg. Now, it is the Europeans who are upholding the very precedent that America demonstrated. Hopefully, Rumsfeld and Rice will appear before the EU and answer questions. Otherwise, silence will be taken for the only thing that it can mean: guilt.

Raging Grannies

2006-01-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

In an unusual act of civil disobedience, members of Raging Grannies, a liberal oriented advocacy group consisting of older women dedicated to global peace, will attempt to enlist in the armed forces at a recruiting station in Silver Spring, Maryland on Valentines Day at noon.

The premise of enlisting in order to commit civil disobedience lies on a two-pronged approach: the military recruiters have to spend time explaining to grandmothers that they are too old instead of recruiting more young soldiers to fight in Iraq and potential recruits will view the commitment of their elders to stop the War In Iraq.

Despite intense liberal feelings against the war confirmed by the lack of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and the 9/11 Commission's rebuke of Iraqi connections to Bin Laden, one must be cautious about attempting an enlistment in order to protest the Bush Administration's policy. After all, the President is so committed to a failed policy that he might be willing to send his own grandmother to Iraq.

Outsourcing Torture?

2006-01-24T05:59:00.000-08:00

For the past several years, Americans have faced the prospect that their lovely job at a call center will be shipped on a plane to Bombay to someone who views English as a second language and will work for only 20% of what an American will work for, creating those daily scenes on MSNBC where employees who thought they had careers are crying as they do not know how they will pay for their kid's college, yet alone put another meal on their family's table.

No longer are customer service centers, textile manufacturers, and computer programmers being outsourced to children who will make an Air Jordan for a quarter an hour. The American intelligence community has joined in this massive tidal wave by sending jobs of torturing terrorist suspects to countries whose human rights standards are so low that they're in the company of Brezhnev's Soviet Union.

While unable to prove the CIA operated clandestine detention centers in Europe, Swiss Senator Dick Marty concluded that the CIA's practice of abducting people living in Europe and transferring them to a third party, such as Egypt has occurred since President Bush declared war on terrorism. Additionally, Senator Marty asserts that there is no way that, at minimum, the intelligence service of the European countries could deny that this was occurring on European soil.

The President has deemed that these sort of practices are necessary in order to safeguard the United States from terrorist attack, but why does the State Department demand international condemnation of Iraqi insurgents when they engage in kidnapping Americans? One cannot be the pillar of life and liberty that the rest of the world admires in awe whenever our leaders are willing to resort to tactics that make America no better than her enemies.

Nor is the writer alone in this concept. Senator John McCain, who was held and tortured in the infamous Hanoi Hilton prison camp during the Vietnam War has continually sponsored legislation to end the use of torture on prisoners in this war on terror. At times, it can be difficult to treat thy enemy with basic shreds of human decency, but it is that concept that separates Osama Bin Laden from all of us, unless of course you know an Egyptian torturer does a great job at 15% the pay rate of a CIA operative.

West Wing Cancelled

2006-01-23T10:48:00.000-08:00

NBC, tired of low ratings but critical acclaim, has decided to cancel the hit television show The West Wing. After seven years of the Bartlett Presidency, Americans had enough---too bad President Bush gets the extra year.

While dramatically well-written, the West Wing showed a side of politics that most of the American people never view: the hustle and bustle of staffers attempting to make policy with the President's approval in the midst of chaos of daily world events that all too often take over the day's agenda, unless one is fortunate enough to have Karl Rove at their side using one and two word pronouncements, such as values and mission accomplished, in order to make the President appear that he's actually graduated Kindergarten and is ready to move on to the First Grade in some sort of Billy Madison-esque attempt at proving his intellectual superiority.

Despite the West Wing's high ratings and clear message during the 2004 campaign, Americans once again chose to be led by the village idiot, as if pronouncements that Saddam Hussein had serious links to Bin Laden and weapons of mass destruction, a budget surplus runamuck, and a terrorist attack on this nation during his watch were not clear enough signs that President Bush was intellectually in over his head.

As for the 2008 election cycle, the American people will hopefully make a better choice for the real Presidency, without guidance from about the only medium that can explain complicated events and situations in such a manner as to actually garner attention.

Then again, if Senator George Allen gets the Repulican nomination, watch out for such simplistic football cliches that he could easily be mistaken for a Coors Light Super Bowl Commercial commentator. Too bad television can't counsel the American people against the dangers of electing another Village Idiot to the White House in 2008. With help, maybe one year, everyone will understand the need for intelligence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Impeach Bush

2006-01-22T08:30:00.000-08:00

While many may consider the title of this blog as just another leftist effort to do to Bush what the ballot box could not, Senator Arlen Specter, Republican Judiciary Chairman from Pennsylvania, suggested during his rounds on the talk show circuit that the President could be impeached for his domestic spying program.

To the chagrin of this liberal, as Vice Presdent Richard Cheney would be the one to assume office should an impeachment actually happen, Senator Specter is correct. The second article of Richard Nixon's impeachment accuses Nixon of directing the Executive Branch of:

Directing or authorizing such agencies [Secret Service and FBI] or personnel to conduct or continue electronic surveillance or other investigations for purposes unrelated to national security, the enforcement of laws, or any other lawful function of his office; he did direct, authorize, or permit the use of information obtained thereby for purposes unrelated to national security, the enforcement of laws, or any other lawful function of his office.

While the President continues to play three card monty with what purpose his domestic espionage program, the bottom line remains that the President has, at minimum, violated the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, and these violations should be investigated.

No American wants to be a roadblock to preventing another September 11th attack, but every American possesses fundamental rights of citizenship that no one, including the President, can trample on. Philosophers often insist that man has only those rights he can defend. The time to defend them is now, and the best method of defense is an independent prosecutor to review the activities of this potentially criminal White House.

Good Night And Good Luck

2006-01-21T06:40:00.000-08:00

While the spread of McCarthyism was supposedly defeated during the Army-McCarthy hearings in the 1950's, the tradition has been resurrected at UCLA, where an alumni association has compiled a list of thirty left wing professors and offers a $100 reward from its $22,000 slush fund for taped lectures from leftist professors.

The problem that exists with the conservative base is not the fact that liberal professors dominate the college campuses, the news media, or any other institution. Rather, conservatives continue to espouse viewpoints that possess no intellectual merit, be it supply side economics that the President's father called voodoo economics, intelligent design, or opposition to stem cell research.

Conservatives spend their time locked up with so-called leaders such as Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson at a place called Bob Jones University, whose initials, BJU, brings hope to the average American male that the porn stars Jenna Jameson. It is the hope of this writer and those who cherish the free exchange of ideas, that the UCLA alumni group responsible for this travesty will take their remaining $22,000 and get a semester's education.

Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden?

2006-01-20T10:45:00.000-08:00

In the immediate aftermath of the September 11th attacks, President Bush proclaimed in a Bon Jovi-esque style that Osama Bin Laden was wanted dead or alive. While international manhunts can take years, even decades, to achieve their goals, Bin Laden is no cowboy on a steel horse ride.

Rather, Bin Laden is a six foot, five inch Arab on dialysis, who lives in caves between Afghanistan and Pakistan and puts out more videos than MTV shows daily. Certainly, this is not the portrait of the world's greatest living terrorist mastermind.

As an American citizen, one must be angered by the September 11th attacks, but what is more frightening is the fact that the elected leader of the free world is not smart enough to figure out that if Bin Laden attacked the United States on September 11th, then it might be wise to put the bulk of American resources in the Afghan-Pakistani border area rather than in Iraq.

While it remains easier than a twenty dollar hooker at a port of call to blame President Bush for this obvious blunder, the true blunder lies with the American people. For the past two election cycles, the American people chose to elect a simple man to guide this nation through a complex world.

It remains easy to want to invest money into reconstruct Iraq, but America cannot reconstruct the world whenever its leaders are grossly ill-equipped to even figure out who her enemies are. While Forrest Gump may gross more at the box office than the gross national product of a third world nation, there is no need to continually turn over the Presidency to a man who considers worldly quotes as having come from Yogi Berra.

Whose Next?

2006-01-19T04:52:00.000-08:00

After testifying before Congress and attempting to shift the blame of Katrina's aftermath away from FEMA to Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco and New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin, former FEMA Director Michael Brown now admitted before a gathering of meteorologists at a ski resort that he made mistakes, such as failing to ask for military assistance sooner. Really? You think? Was it really held at a ski resort?

Rather than admitting this before Congress, Brown opted to give the Congress incredulous answers, such as problems with the separation of local, state, and federal powers, even though this never stopped a staunch conservative like Eisenhower from sending the Army into Little Rock, Arkansas to make sure a few black kids could get the same educational opportunities as the white kids.

Now that this Bush campaign hack has been officially put out of his misery with his "confession," its time for Vegas to open its lines on which bad thing will happen next to a Republican Official. Here's my lines:

Cheney Admits Wrongdoing In Domestic Espionage Settlement 10:1
Scooter Libby Goes To Jail---Sounds Like A Bedtime Story 5:1
Tom DeLay's Tough Facade A Mask For Repressed Homosexuality 4:1
George Bush Admits He Still Watches Sesame Street 3:1
Laura Bush: The Pot Years Becomes New York Times Bestseller 2:1
Barbara Bush Attempts To Help Poor By Tearing Down Their Homes 1:1
Other, Because You Just Can't Tell With These Nuts 1:2

TV Violence Ruins Lives

2006-01-16T14:38:00.000-08:00

For the first time ever, a liberal will admit that watching television is a very disgusting thing to do, at least in the bedroom. According to an Italian sexologist's study, couples who have a television have only half as much sex as those who do not have televisions in the bedroom, which is not necessarily a bad thing if you need the help of the US Army Corps Of Engineers assistance in order to find your lover's special place.

Additionally, half of all couples who watch violent television programs in the bedroom are likely to have any passionate sex in the bedroom stopped. Pat Robertson, mark the date that the following line was written. Therefore, this liberal believes that televison violence is as grave a threat to American society as George Bush's IQ, Christian fundamentalists, and Intelligent Design, all combined.

Write your Congressman and demand action against television violence immediately. Certainly, there is a middle ground between Conservatives and Liberals on this one. Then again, where is Bill Clinton when you need him?

After Action Report: War On Christmas

2006-01-15T10:48:00.000-08:00

In most towns across the Midwest, July 4th is celebrated with a parade, which gives one the opportunity to laugh at the people riding on the floats, and fireworks, which allows one to look up in amazement, taking one's mind off the shitty job, car, and neighbors.

Christmas, much like July 4th, presents the same opportunities. Once a year, every year, the most annoying neighbor in the neighborhood strings out the lights and plugs up Santa Claus, aka the man who represents the average weight of the American male.

Since the annoying neighbor is willing to go out of his way to make you smile, and more importantly pay the electric bill for such pleasure, you decide that maybe it's time that you walk your dog to someone else's yard when he has to take a 10-200, which creates a mutually beneficial relationship for one month out of the year.

Then, when walking down to the local courthouse to pay your parking tickets, you happen to notice a bunch of people circulating petitions to get the ten commandments posted. Now, I have nothing against religion, as long as people keep it to themselves, but let's be honest the manger scene versus a lit up Santa whose nose is so red that people believe Ted Kennedy's been on another binger. I'll take Santa even if it is the Sabbath.

The problem with intermingling religion and government is that the government represents everyone, while Christianity represents only a segment of the entire American population. It's tantamount to Jehovah's Witnesses showing up to your doorstep. Of course you're going to heckle them with a wise ass remark, such as, "Is that some sort of pyramid scheme?" It's obnoxious to have others annoy you with their beliefs, unless they're written by yours truly in this blog.

CC: Bill O'Reilly, GOP News Channel
John Gibson, GOP News Channel

Boehner's Boner

2006-01-15T06:20:00.000-08:00

In a massive effort to repair the Republican Party's corrupt image, Tom DeLay has stepped aside from his House Majority Leader position, only to find the leading contenders, John Boehner-OH and Roy Blunt-MO, have colorful enough pasts to request legal name changes to Barnum & Bailey.

Representative Boehner's antics ranges from refusing to refund campaign contributions from Jack Abramoff, who was involved in scamming his Native American clients, and he distributed checks from tobacco companies to his colleagues on the House floor. While many may not condemn co-workers from conducting personal business at work, there's a big distinction between Phillip Morris and the Girl Scouts Of America.

Of course, Boehner is not the only Repulican contending for DeLay's old gig that has pulled some bonehead stunts over the years. Enjoying some of the same connections that Tom DeLay had with Jack Abramoff, Represenative Blunt wrote three letters to assist Abramoff's efforts to collect money from his clients. In addition, Blunt's political organizations swapped money with DeLay's political organizations benefiting Blunt's son Matt.

Now, Republicans always curse corruption, regardless of whether or not it is illicit money, shady dealings, or nepotism. After all, everyone knows that George W. Bush got into Yale because he's good enough, smart enough, and dog gone it, people like him. So, why shouldn't the rest of the party emulate him?

Keep Using The Remote--It Works

2006-01-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

Terre Haute, Indiana is only known to most as the place where Larry Bird played his college basketball. That reputation is rapidly changing as Terre Haute is one of seven NBC affiliates that now refuses to air the hit show The Book Of Daniel due to complaints from the religious right. The show, whose main character is a priest with a drug dealing daughter and a gay son, finished nationally as the third rated show.

The religious right merely wants the American family, or at least the one portrayed on prime time television, to be more like the Waltons, but it cannot occur. Television is merely a reflection on our culture, and today's family faces challenges that the Waltons never had to deal with, such as teen pregnancy, drug abuse, drunk driving, college preparation, sexual identity, and classroom violence.

While it maybe difficult for people who consider home schooling the best method to educate a child to comprehend the complex multitude of problems that face our society, refusing to acknowledge them, even through fictional accounts, is dangerous whenever there are many simple solutions, such as utilizing the channel up, channel down, or power button on the remote. If, however, that solution is still unsatisfactory to the religious right, then perhaps NBC can replace The Book Of Daniel with a documentary on religion: Boyz N The Chapel.

The $24,000 Question

2006-01-14T06:04:00.000-08:00

With prominent Republicans, such as Tom DeLay, Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, and Jack Abramoff, involved in scandals, it would appear to the most oblivious layman that the Grand Old Party is going down faster than Christina Aguilera can find a closet at a frat party.

Politicians engaged in scandals and/or unethical behavior is nothing new to American politics. Be it Bill Clinton with the rub a tub tub intern under the desk or the Republican Party in Louisiana putting up a Klansman in David Duke for Governor, Americans know that scandals are not limited to one party or the other.

However, there is a special feeling in this wave of Republican scandals that wasn't available during the Clinton sex crisis. While Bill Clinton deserved impeachment for poor taste in women, his scandal was still something that one might read in a Penthouse forum column, or so I have been told.

These scandals are vastly different. These men portrayed their party as the party of morality and national security. They assembled the Christian Right against Roe v. Wade, Terry Schiavo's right to die, and the theory of evolution in the name of morality. Yet, men like Abramoff and DeLay have no moral qualms in breaking finance law.

Meanwhile, Karl Rove and Scooter Libby sat in the White House and sold America a War in Iraq on the grounds that Saddam Hussein's links to Osama Bin Ladin and possession of Weapons Of Mass Destruction was a threat to National Security. Yet, Libby and Rove have no national security qualms about revealing a CIA operative's identity or explaining where the Bush Administration went wrong in Iraq.

The contrast of these scandals are clear. Democrats tend to be human because they err, but they are not hypocrites. However, the consequences of these scandals are not as clear as the contrast It is evident that of the four involved in these scandals, Libby, Rove, Abramoff, or DeLay, one or more of them will serve some time. With that in mind, the $24,000 question remains: If one of them becomes a prison bitch, is it considered adultery?

Domestic Spying Is Repugnant

2006-01-13T12:07:00.000-08:00

While attempting to avoid sounding like a Jeffersonian civil libertarian that will inevitably lead to my phone being tapped by George's Bush's storm troopers, aka the National Security Council, the policy this President has chosen in regards to domestic spying is dangerous.

Now, George Bush would like the country to believe that warrantless domestic spying is a necessary evil in order to prevent future terrorist attacks, but nothing is further from the truth. The Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, FISA, created a court so that the Executive Branch could domestically spy on those who could potentially harm American national security and permits the Executive Branch to spy on those individuals for up to 72 hours without a warrant just in case the court cannot meet to grant such a warrant.

Had Americans demanded an educated President instead of one who confuses FISA with the FIFA soccer league, then a person of authority would have been able to quote Benjamin Franklin from the bully pulpit, "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."